Swordfish
*** GM
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, John Travolta, Don Cheadle, Vinnie Jones, Sam Shepard

Home

CriminyPete Awards

Good Movie Archive

Bad Movie Archive

The eGroup

Message Board

Links


Believe it or not, I wanted to see this BEFORE I heard Halle Berry's breasts were in it. It was mainly because of Hugh Jackman. This guy nailed Wolverine in X-Men, so I feel kinda compelled to support the rest of this guy's career... although that compulsion didn't make me go see that "Someone Like Your Ass" Ashley Judd movie. Halle was just a little side bonus once I found out about that.

So, I wasn't expecting a hell of a lot, since John Travolta was playing a megalomaniacal type, and his track record at that wasn't a good omen. Then it opens with Travolta performing a monologue about how much crap Hollywood churns out, which I'm sure every movie critic in the world is jumping on to crack some lame "Battlefield Earth" joke. I had the same sort of reaction initially, although I would have invoked "Michael" instead, but to my surprise, by the end of the monologue, I was actually impressed by the man. Well-delivered, interesting content... and the rest of the opening sequence managed to draw me in.

What we get here is a pretty decent action-drama-thriller type of thing. Hugh Jackman is the world's best hacker ever (as anyone who plays a hacker tends to be), and Travolta is a lurky-shadowy-operative type of sneaky-guy who needs important computer hacking to be done in order to get a lot of money. So he sends Halle Berry to titillate Hugh into working for him, with money, breasts and that whole 'we can get your daughter back' good-guy angle. Even though simply touching a computer can send Hugh back to jail, he reluctantly agrees, gets faced with a handful of 'what side are you really on?' shenanigans and Don Cheadle tries to stop them all.

Shakes out into an entertaining flick. Some well-done bang-zoom effects, some surprisingly decent Travolta acting, a few decent twists, and fun is to be had. True, I periodically wanted Jackman to pop some claws and take care of business, but that's something I have to get over. I do find it kinda funny that I heard Halle talking about how the filmmakers insisted that the breast-shot was non-negotiable as an integral part of the character. Very rarely is there such a thing as non-gratuitous nudity. This bit did serve as a slight character moment, but it was most likely non-negotiable because they needed an extra zinger to get more of their target audience to see this flick, since Travolta's fucked around enough to make himself less marketable. Then again, you've got those moments like in 3000 Miles To Graceland, where Courteney Cox is schtupping the tarnation outta Kurt Russell, but keeps her bra on, which just shouts 'no-nudity clause' at the audience and can take minds off the story.

Nice boobs, though.

Back to CriminyPete.Com Knee Jerk Spoilers