Jurassic Park 3: Electric Boogalee
**.5 BM
Starring: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Tea Leoni, Alessandro Nivola, Michael Jeter, Trevor Morgan, Laura Dern

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This felt like half a movie.

I kept waiting for things to get interesting, for something new to be brought to the proverbial mix. Then suddenly, it ended. I was flabbergasted at the nothingness of this movie.

Sam Neill is back, tricked by a couple looking for their kid that got lost on dino-island to help guide them, they find the kid and get away from dinosaurs, and a couple of insignificant characters get killed along the way. That's it. Absolutely nothing of note to differentiate itself from the first two films, or for that matter, from a standard horror/sci-fi movie.

I like Sam Neill and I like dinosaurs, so I was hoping for some cool stuff this time around. The first film was breathtaking, the second film was pretty much a joke, but at least it had some B-movie fun going for it. This film, while occasionally neat-o and entertaining, was entirely redundant. The only apparent reason for this is to introduce the "new, bigger-than-T-Rex badass dinosaur" called the 'spinosaurus,' which bothers me, because ever since I was into dinosaurs as a kid, Tyrannosaurus Rex was the baddest ass around, and I don't care who discovers what, T-Rex will always be baddest ass, so fuck off, Captain Sequel of the S.S. Pointless. Besides, why do you even NEED a dinosaur bigger than T-Rex? We're still dealing with an enormous beast that turns humans into toejam. I guess they needed a dinosaur that could swim for the big anti-climactic ending.

There seemed to be absolutely no rising action in this film. It just seemed like a half-assed build-up to nothing. Not even a build-UP, just a build-plateau or something. When the jackasses are rescued, it seems like there should be another full third of the movie to go, something interesting, something that hasn't been done before brought in to spice things up... but no, it just... ends. They're saved, and that's IT. Although it had some cool visuals and a few interesting scenarios, it wasn't engrossing and hardly even interesting.

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