Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
**** BM
Starring: Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Robert Wagner, Rob Lowe, Verne Troyer, Seth Green, Michael York, Mindy Sterling

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The highest form of humor is the non-sequitur. When jokes come out of nowhere, completely at random, and don't make any sense... well, gals and gents, that's when they're the funniest.

I thought the first Austin Powers film was 'just ok' when I first saw it, but I saw it with two giggling drunk morons that I despised. It had to grow on me. After seeing my cousin do dead-on impersonations for a while, I started to appreciate it. Mike Myers in general is pretty cool, too, so I grew to think it was pretty funny.

However, seeing this flick, I loved it the first time out. It was all over the place, full of insane, ridiculous and pointless comedy that I love. Myers plays three characters, and the third one is the relatively pointless but funny nonetheless Fat Bastard, an enormous and disgustingly obese Scotsman. Dr. Evil raps. Austin drinks a stool stample. There's a vicious midget that bites people. Utterly insane. I love it.

Heather Graham, while more alluring than anyone has a right to be, needed to sell it a bit more. I know she's a good actress and I know she was in a goofball movie... but she hardly put anything into her lines. But then again, it's the Austin Powers sequel. Who cares?

Some friends of mine seemed to think that the film was somehow 'unoriginal' and were disappointed with it. Let's examine this. This film is a SEQUEL, for one, but it's a sequel to a movie that was a spoof of one of the most unoriginal and insipid movie dynasties - the James Bond film. I believe everyone, everywhere should stand up in unison and say "NO! NEVER AGAIN WILL I WATCH ANOTHER POINTLESS BOND MOVIE!" and then back that up by never again watching another pointless Bond movie. Every movie is "superspy catches crooks and screws chicks and never breaks a sweat." I can see this concept MAYBE being stretched into two or three films, but they've made almost TWENTY.

I don't know if you quite grasp this. Amalgamations of morons have made TWENTY James Bond films. TWENTY! 20! TWENTY! As Metallica says, this is The Thing That Should Not Be. I do not see why this has gone on so long. It's a stupid, stupid beast that must be put down. No one needs THAT many slight variations on the same crappy story. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!

Anyway, the Austin Powers sequel is completely loopy and funny. Don't expect anything groundbreaking. Just expect a good time, and that's what you'll get.

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